Have you ever caught yourself saying, "I'm just like my mom...(aunt, grandmother, etc)?"
As the saying goes, "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."
We tend to think that our behaviors and actions are as a result of hereditary. YET the truth is that WE HAVE CONTROL over our thoughts, actions and reactions. We can't blame others for OUR ACTIONS and THOUGHTS and that's GOOD NEWS!!!
If you aren't happy with the thoughts in your head, then CHANGE THEM. Here are a few tips on how to do that.
Tips for change:
1) TAKE NOTICE:
Start to notice the self talk you have in your head. (Yes, we all have it.) That little voice that tends to "put you down" all day long. Notice it and listed to what you are saying to yourself. It can be helpful to write down these thoughts. We tend to be very hard on ourselves.
Would you ever be friends with the person who speaks those words to you inside your head? Probably not because she is often critical, rude and mean!
Notice your knee-jerk reactions to certain situations. Just observe and notice the undesirable words you tell yourself. Do you like the way you are acting? Do you like the things you are telling yourself?
2) ASK WHY:
After observing your self talk and reactions, then start to ask yourself WHY you tend to respond or react that way.
Ask yourself: Why am I thinking that? Who might have given me that idea? Who from my upbringing might I be mirroring? Is the statement true? Am I helping or hurting myself with those words? Consider journaling about steps 1 and 2.
3) CHOOSE SOMETHING DIFFERENT:
Now that you have identified that your self talk is because for example, a teacher from grade school told you that you are not smart (or whatever you discovered in step 2), now you can change the program!!
You get to choose your inner dialog. Make your self talk reflect who you really are and let it uplift you!! Most of the thoughts you repeat in your head were statements that your brain automatically downloaded when you were a child. They are not YOUR thoughts, they are someone else's thoughts that you recorded into your subconscious when you were a child.
You are a beautiful being who is here to do great things and make a difference in the world!
Now that you have this awareness, you can re-program your thinking and self-talk. It takes time, awareness, and most importantly REPETITION!. Be patient with yourself, but love yourself enough to start the process!
Please let me know how you are doing with this! I want to hear from you.